Wednesday, January 9, 2008

finding a marital model in Job

I have always felt like Job's wife is one of those Bible characters we love to hate. She certainly gets a bum rap in almost every book I've read or sermon preached. I think there is more to learn from those sparse verses about her than we often take note of. After Job loses his livestock, his servants, his children, and his health, and most likely believed his life was next on the list, Job's wife says to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!" Ewww! We think to ourselves. How could such a godly and upright man have such a wretch for a wife!

Although I would hope to behave a little better externally, I'm not sure my attitude would feel that different from Mrs. Job. Let's not forget that her husband was not peculiarly selected for grief and agony. As one-flesh, when the Lord was "incited against him to destroy him without reason" this little lady was in the path of the storm as well. It was her home, her livlihood, her dear sons and daughters, and her beloved husband, that were destroyed. How painful it is to endure not only one's own suffering, but to sit in impotence as you watch your spouse suffer excruciating pain and loss! Is Job's wife so easily condemnable as we'd like for her to be? Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way advocating that difficulty, no matter how great, is a defensable excuse for violent thrashings against the Holy One. I do believe she was seriously in the most intense throes of Romans 8:22. But apart from that, I think this little portion of Scripture nestled in chapter two is an amazing little piece of marriage "how-to".

Firstly, Job responds.
In the midst of almost total loss, Job is still acting like a man. Instead of being swallowed in the mire and blinded by the darkness about him, Job acts...he speaks. He is not merely holding fast to God, he is still carrying out his responsibility to step into the fray. I am reminded of Adam standing idly by as his beautifully deceived bride takes that deadly fruit at the serpent's urging. Um, Adam...hello? any input here? How justifiable it may seem for Job to stay silent, to "give up" at this point. Everything is ruined...why continue to fight for this one remaining earthly relationship when perhaps it is doomed to die as well? But instead we read, "But he said to her..."

Secondly, Job recognizes his wife's words for what they are.
Job perhaps takes hold of her flailing arms and whips her around to look into his pus face and says, "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak." He knows these words don't flow out of the core of who she is. She is speaking as one of the foolish women would speak. Job knows his wife's heart. He sees that these windy words are not the outflow her true heart toward God. She following the way of Eve and being tempted to believe at that treacherous moment that God's motives are evil and that He is really the denier of all good things rather than the Giver of Life. Job's wife is speaking fool-talk and Job knows it. "Get ahold of yourself woman! Quit acting like something you're not! You are no fool! We are the faithful, remember? You are a called-out one, not one who rejects the words and ways of God!" Job's husbandly strength is evident in that he doesn't "freak-out" about the imagined apostasy of his "way-ward" wife and to immediately start evangelizing her. He recognizes who she is and calls her back to who she is as well.

Thirdly, Job reminds his wife of truth.
He counters her Osteen-esque theology with what is true. "Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" Now, while Job reminds his wife of the comfy, cozy hedge that the Lord had put around them 'on every side', he isn't privy to Satan's request of God to slither under the hedge and eat away all their helath, wealth, and prosperity. Job, nor his wife knew that Satan had potentially found "someone to devour" and yet Job is confident enough in the providence of God, that he REMEMBERS. He remembers that God is indeed Who He claims Himself to be: the fountain from which all things flow. Job deals with his wife in the most loving way; he reminds her that they love the Giver of the gifts, not just the gifts. I can almost see his deep eyes staring into her tear-filled ones as he tenderly reminds her, "Hey, this isn't why we're walking with God. That big house, that big salary, those pleasant family birthday parties, our pretty skin and fit bodies, our beautiful and successful children! No-no, dear one, we walk with God because of who He is...remember? He is our everything--even when we have nothing!"

And lastly, Job refrains from sinning himself and by so doing, represents to his wife what faith looks like.
"In all this Job did not sin with his lips." Job not only speaks truth, he acts on truth. How Job fulfilled his calling as husband here! This is loving his wife as Christ loves the church. What a demanding and challenging situation and yet Job "gave himself up for her" by having stepped into the conflict and responding when I guess it may have been the last thing he, in his earthly nature, desired to do. He recognizes and puts the finger on his wife's sinful heart that "he might sanctify her." He reminds and redirects her to the character of God which is no less than "having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himslef in splendor." Job does all this while representing in His own actions, how this faith plays out in and through one's steadfastness in the real wreckage of life. I don't believe that Job's wife stands condemned because of her sin. Just as Job took it upon himself to "continually" rise early in the morning to intercede for his children in the case that they "have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts", he likewise pictured our priestly Lord who would, in the place of agony himself, accomplish that which would take away our spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she (his bride) might be holy and without blemish. May our husbands nourish and cherish as well.